


Just Another Crossover: A Narration by Q

by azure7539



Series: Azure's 007 Fest 2019 [5]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 007 Fest, 007 Fest 2019, Crack Crossover, Gen, Humor, No Spoilers, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 12:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure7539/pseuds/azure7539
Summary: People just crashed into MI6. Quite literally.





	Just Another Crossover: A Narration by Q

“What… the fuck.”

Usually, people would take notice of the language. But this is not ‘usually.’

Not even close.

The runes on the ground have barely stopped sizzling, and the one-eyed, bulky man with cascading golden locks and one flowing red cape is already charging forth with the blithering confusion of a staggering drunk.

The same goes for the rest of his company, which mainly comprises of a tall, lean, slightly greasy-looking man; a woman in glittering silver armor; and… a green, muscly… _giant_.

Okay, to be fair, the bright flash of rainbow might have damaged Q’s vision somewhere along the way, but he doesn’t really think his mind can be conjuring up all this on its own.

Can it?

Also the windows, the _reinforced glass_ , of this idiotic, new MI6 Headquarters (that C made for them and they haven’t gotten permission to officially tear it down yet because of the so-called _funding that went into it_ or whatever) on the floor of M’s office, are mostly shattered.

(If Q was petty, which he actually is, he would jot this down as yet another thing that Denbigh fucked them over with—poor construction materials. If nothing then just to drive the point home of exactly how much they, as a collective whole, _despise_ this stupid tower.)

That aside…

“Who are you?” Q asks, adjusting his glasses as though an entire band of supposedly well-off… _cosplayers_ hasn’t just crash landed into their meeting. From the bloody sky.

Next to him, Bond stiffens a little because that man never likes it when someone reacts faster than him.

Well, tough luck.

“Oh!” Goldilocks turns to them and immediately zones in on Q, his voice booming with a strangely vibrating, deep timbre that he can feel even in his chest. “Hello!”

Okay, Goldilocks is not _not_ cute, but right now, Q is a little more concerned about the _electricity_ (?!) that’s zapping in bright blue tendrils all over his hands and arms. His very muscly arms.

“What was that Midgardian line again…” Goldilocks continues to mumble. “We come in…”

“Peace?” Greasy Brunette drawls from next to him, and Q is really trying not to get distracted by Eve going through the steps of waking up an unconscious Mallory (short of slapping him awake, by the looks of it) while inconspicuously calling for backup in addition to the fact that he can almost see, rather than hear, Silver Woman telling Green Giant not to engage in smashing.

Yet.

“Yes, yes!” Goldilocks grins. “We come in peace!” 

Greasy Brunette sighs, rolling his eyes despite the edge of fondness in the tiny upward twitch of his lips. “What he means is that there’s no need for violence. We’re only here because _somebody_ veered us on the wrong track.”

It’s really not hard to see that his dark eyes are looking, quite not so impressed, at the gun Bond has had pointed at them.

“Hey! How was I supposed to know that we’d get hit by a supernova blast on the way?”

“Answer the question first then,” Bond repeats, totally unwavering. Like Q hasn’t been the one doing all the talking up until now. “Who are you?”

“Ah!” Goldilocks starts again, as though he has absolutely no care of the weapon (weapons, now) trained on him at the moment. “We’re the Revengers!”

“I’m going to need a whiskey after this,” Mallory groans from somewhere in the background.

Honestly?

Same.

**Author's Note:**

> LMAO i don’t know how this happened other than the fact that I love both of these things a lot. (Okay but does anybody want more?)
> 
> Also, what's Infinity War; I've never heard of it. Only Post _Thor: Ragnarok_ , sans after credits, and they all live happily ever after whilst trying to repopulate an actual planet.


End file.
